Regretting the Decision to Have Children: Prevalence, Causes, and Consequences
Chair(s): Konrad Piotrowski (SWPS University, Poland)
Parenthood regret, a persistent and profound wish that one had not become a parent, is an emerging area of research that challenges traditional narratives of parental fulfillment. Despite its significance, the phenomenon has received limited empirical attention, resulting in a fragmented understanding of its prevalence, causes, and consequences. The birth of a first child, followed by subsequent children, presents individuals with one of the most paramount developmental tasks: assuming the role of a parent and fulfilling this responsibility over many years. While parenthood often fosters a sense of purpose for many individuals (Nelson et al., 2014), recent studies increasingly underscore that in contemporary, particularly developed countries, parenthood is becoming a burden and even a source of suffering for many people (Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2020). Investigations into parental burnout have revealed that as many as 10% of parents in developed countries, particularly women, experience this syndrome (Roskam et al., 2021), with up to 30% of parents being at risk of burnout (Piotrowski, 2023). Studies on parental burnout have recently spurred research into another facet of parental challenges: regretting the decision to have children. Several publications on this subject have emerged in recent years (Bodin, 2023; Meil et al., 2023; Piotrowski, 2021; Piotrowski, Mikolajczak, & Roskam, 2023), revealing that as many as 15% of people may regret their choice to become parents and that parental regret can have serious consequences for the entire family system. During the symposium, a team of researchers will present the results of recent studies, including longitudinal and cross-cultural research, and present the latest findings in parenthood regret investigations.
Presentations of the Symposium
Parenthood Regret: Definition, Measurement, and the State of the Art
Konrad Piotrowski1, Moïra Mikolajczak2, Isabelle Roskam2 1Center for Research on Personality Development, SWPS University, Warsaw/Poznań, Poland, 2Psychological Sciences Research Institute, UCLouvain, Louvain-la-Neuve, Belgium
This introductory presentation provides a comprehensive overview of the current state of research on parenthood regret, synthesizing findings across psychology, sociology, and cultural studies. The definitional complexities of parenthood regret vary across disciplines. Psychological research focuses on the emotional and cognitive dimensions of regret, often framing it as a consequence of identity crises, unmet expectations, or inadequate coping strategies. Sociological perspectives emphasize the role of cultural norms, systemic inequalities, and social pressures in shaping regret, while cultural studies explore its representation in narratives and public discourse. Recent advancements in the measurement of parenthood regret enable precise assessments of regret intensity and facilitate cross-cultural and longitudinal studies, providing insights into its predictors and psychological mechanisms. Our presentation underscores the need for destigmatization and integration of parenthood regret into psychological practice, including developing targeted interventions for parents experiencing regret and preventive measures for prospective parents. As the first presentation in this symposium, it sets the stage for further exploration of the antecedents, experiences, and implications of parenthood regret.
Parental Burnout and Parenthood Regret: Differentiating Two Constructs and Mapping Their Global Prevalence
Isabelle Roskam1, Moïra Mikolajczak1, Konrad Piotrowski2, the IIPB consortium1 1Psychological Sciences Research Institute, UCLouvain, Louvain-la-Neuve, Belgium, 2Center for Research on Personality Development, SWPS University, Warsaw/Poznań, Poland
Recent research has revealed significant links between Parental Burnout (PB) and Parenthood Regret (PR), challenging their historical treatment as separate phenomena. We conducted a multi-method, multi-sample investigation with 973 Polish-speaking parents and 1,429 French- and English-speaking parents to clarify the uniqueness of PB and PR. Latent Profile Analyses, Confirmatory Factor Analyses, and Cross-Lagged Models consistently suggested that PB and PR are distinct constructs, each showing different patterns of association with escape ideation, parental neglect, and violence across studies and samples. Additionally, leveraging data from the International Investigation of Parental Burnout (IIPB), we assessed the global prevalence of PB and PR across 40+ countries. While PB prevalence had been previously mapped by Roskam et al. (2021), PR had never been estimated on such a global scale. We further explored, for the first time, how cultural contexts influence the associations between PB, PR, and key outcomes, including escape ideation, neglect, and violence.
Primary caregiving mothers who regret their decision to have children in the age of climate crisis
Nicola Carone1, Jacopo Tracchegiani2 1Department of Systems Medicine, University of Rome Tor Vergata, Rome, Italy, 2Department of Brain and Behavioral Sciences, University of Pavia, Pavia, Italy
Despite its complexity and relevance for parent and child adjustment, parenthood regret remains underexplored, particularly in relation to developmental and environmental determinants. Research indicates that childhood disorganization and role reversal have profound, lasting impacts on caregiving behaviors. Concurrently, the escalating climate crisis introduces a significant stressor, potentially amplifying feelings of regret among parents, especially those with unresolved developmental traumas. While climate concerns have been studied in non-parent populations, their influence on parents who have already made reproductive decisions remains largely unexamined. The present study investigated the distinct and interactive effects of childhood experiences of disorganization and role reversal and climate crisis concerns on parenthood regret in a community sample of 452 cisgender, heterosexual, primary caregiving mothers (Mage = 41.30, SD = 6.60) of preschool children (Mage = 3.85, SD = 1.40) living in Italy. Climate crisis concerns showed both direct and interactive effects, with mothers who expressed concerns about the climate crisis in the past 12 months reporting increased regret. Furthermore, mothers who experienced greater childhood disorganization with their own mothers—but not with their fathers—reported the highest levels of regret, particularly when coupled with recent climate crisis concerns. These findings highlight how the interplay between early relational trauma and contemporary existential threats, such as climate change, shapes maternal feelings regarding their role. They provide valuable insights for clinicians and policymakers, emphasizing the need for targeted interventions to support mothers navigating complex caregiving challenges amidst environmental crises.
Parenthood Regret as a Dyadic Experience: A Polish Longitudinal Study of Couples Transitioning into Parenthood (PL-STUDY)
Konrad Piotrowski1, Jakub Duras1, Nina Jasiek1, Moïra Mikolajczak2, Isabelle Roskam2 1Center for Research on Personality Development, SWPS University, Warsaw/Poznań, Poland, 2Psychological Sciences Research Institute, UCLouvain, Louvain-la-Neuve, Belgium
Parenthood regret remains an underexplored topic, particularly from a dyadic perspective and within the framework of longitudinal research. Existing studies often rely on cross-sectional designs, which fail to capture regret's developmental and dynamic nature as it unfolds over time. Furthermore, little attention has been given to how regret manifests and interacts within the relational context of couples. The PL-STUDY addresses these gaps through a longitudinal approach, tracking couples from the first pregnancy through the first three years of their child’s life. Beginning during the second or third trimester of pregnancy, the study employs nine measurement points spanning three years postpartum, providing an unprecedented opportunity to explore how parenthood regret develops in response to individual, relational, and contextual factors. By adopting a dyadic perspective, the study examines the interdependence of parental experiences within couples, investigating how one partner’s functioning influences the other’s emotional well-being, including parenthood regret. This study's unique design enables the identification of pre-parenthood predictors of regret, such as identity processes, perfectionism, and relationship quality, as well as the longitudinal consequences of regret on both partners. Including first-time parents ensures a focused examination of the transition into parenthood, a period marked by profound personal and relational transformations. The findings are expected to inform tailored future interventions aimed at mitigating parenthood regret and supporting couples in navigating the challenges of early parenthood, ultimately contributing to healthier family dynamics and improved parental well-being.
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